Jun. 5th, 2005

clarinelf: (nowhere & it's now)
Dear Colleges,

Why are there so many of you? And why is it so difficult for me to understand how to pick a select few of you to visit/apply to/attend? Am I just that stupid, or am I just going about this all wrong? Is my lack of direction as far as a career is concerned what's holding me back? Or is it because I am so deeply conflicted about spending an insane amount of money on my first degree, when I know that I would like to purse at least a Master's, but probably wouldn't have the money if I spent it all on my undergraduate studies at some fantastic liberal arts school instead of attending a fantastic public school? My indecisiveness, and your abundance, is literally driving me insane.

Blah,
Amy



You see, I had always imagined that I would know exactly where I wanted to go because of the whole music thing. But once that went down the drain, I was kinda left standing there like this: "Unnhhhhh....Uhhm..."

It really shouldn't be this difficult, should it? The fact that I find some college I sort of like and then a month later am like, "Eh, Lawrence is waaay too expensive"/"Eh, U of I is waaay too big" and then start over again really irks me. I like to know what I'm working toward, but this is one of many instances in my life where that's not really possible. I should start visiting schools very soon, but I don't really think I can decide which ones to visit without feeling like I'm missing something, or like I'm making the wrong decisions.

Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah for indecisiveness and lack of coherence and stuff.

June 2006

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